The world through my eyes

Finally a "Golden Moment"!!!

2008-08-11T08:32:00.006-05:00

Finally has won a Gold medal in Olympics after a span of 28 years. The Gold medal was won by Abhinav Bindra in 10m Air Rifle. He is the first Indian to win a individual olympic gold for India, since we started participating in Olympics in 1900. I would like to say that it wsa a long and grueling task and India put in a great effort, but somehow I cant force myself to say all these things. India has talent, no doubt about it but still there is so much lacking. I am not blaming anyone particular because it is such a vicious cirle. Most of teh authorities are not as serious about athletes and their future, as much as they should be. Most of teh athletes join sports just to get a good job or a house. Is there really someone in the sports "business" for just the love of the game?
It is amazing how a population of more than one billion cannot produce handful of sportsmen or women to compete in competitive sports. Moreoever even if we find someone who has caliber, then that person is always put down. It is a crabby mentality.
Now that we have a Gold, I hope and pray that it is an inspiration for everyone. Athletes and officials, alike and they will stride towards a common goal of the betterment of the game rather than their personal gain.

Honor Killing

2008-05-23T11:07:00.003-05:00

Recently it was reported that a father killed his daughter because she found out about his affair with another women. Moreoever she used to taunt her father with her own sexual escapades. This has brought out the ugly, nasty face of the new India. This also brought out the problem of lack of communication in Indian families.
Communication is completely absent in most of the Indian families. We keep talking to each other but never communicate. We like people (especially our family members) to listen to us but never try and see their view points. It is our responsibility to be a good family, to create a good community and a better India.
There should be compulsory counseling for people when they are expecting a babgy. Bringing a life into this world should not only be a result of a lapse in judgement or a moment of passion. Parents should be responsible for the life they are creating. Thye were the one's who asked for the child and should be ready for taking care of them.
As far as moral responsibility is concerned then cheating should never be acceptable. if you are not happy in your marriage then get divorced. Why stay in a rotting marriage and create the illusion of a perfect marriage? This will result in everyone getting hurt.

Cleanliness at Haridwar

2008-04-10T16:34:00.006-05:00

It is said "Cleanliness is next to Godliness". I believe this but my belief was a little shattered this time in India. I went to Haridwar, a religious place in Uttarakhand to pay my offerings to River Ganga. I like to go to that place because it is quite and serene. I love to watch the evening Aarti and dip in the ice cold water. In all its always a very pleasant experience. I have seen my share of obscene people in this place but that did not deter me from going there since childhood. I think lusty looks have become so common from men in India that women just prefer to ignore them altogether. I had become so used to them also but after coming to US I realized that it is not common and it should not be acceptable.
This year around my experience was very different. I went to Haridwar and saw the dirt, leaves, cow dung, flour and many more things on the shore. It was a mess. To top it all people offer flowers, money and other stuff to the river. That would mean that people through all these things into the river. This was really disturbing to me. I know that Indian government has been trying to clean up Ganga for a very long time. They have spent millions of rupees in this process. Ganga is not only a religious river but it is also a source for water to many cities and villages, along its course. I think the government of India should not only clean the river but stop all the dirt from getting into the river in the first place.
I also saw people washing their clothes in the river, right where people were taking a dip. It was so ridiculous that I felt like slapping people. Where is your social responsibility? You talk about culture and being very close to God then how come you don’t respect the person next to you. I think it is up to the general public to keep our country clean. The government can only do so much about cleaning the streets, but if we keep making it dirty then it would be just a vicious circle of filth. I am not picking up on only haridwar but this is the case in every religious place in india. There is prashaad and flowers and stuff, always thrown around on the ground. it is really bad and we ahve to do somethign about it.

Shreya Saran molestation

2008-04-10T16:00:00.004-05:00

A man misbehaved with Shreya Saran yesterday at a temple. This temple is considered one of the most pious and pure temple in India. People, who molest women, think that she will forget about it and it will not scar her for life. They are not hurting her so she would be fine with it. But they don’t understand that it does haunt women for years. A touch, a look or a comment from someone can trigger real bad memories of someone violating your body.
I felt sorry for the state of women in India at this time. I feel the government should do something about punishing these eve-teasers and making an example out of them, but more importantly Shreya should be considered a perfect example for other women to look up to. She is very delicate looking but she stood up to a man who tried to violate her modesty and her personal space. Women should empower themselves and try and protect themselves. A policeman cannot be available at all times and women should be in a position to defend themselves. Learning a little bit or martial arts is always advisable, especially for women who work or even go out for groceries alone. That would include any woman who has ever been out on the streets alone, and that would be everyone in India or the world.

Cheating

2008-04-10T15:40:00.006-05:00

Last week I was watching the infamous show "cheaters" in which a camera crew spies on a spouse and finds out if he/she is cheating on their respective spouses. I find it stupid but I didn’t have anything to do and that is why I started watching it. As they say, a train wreck is always endearing and you will definitely keep watching it. So I kept watching it and it made me thinking about people who cheat. Why do people cheat? I am not only talking about cheating on your partner. I also mean why people cheat on exams, in reality shows, in relationships, at work or in any field of life.
A friend of mine told me last week that she had found out that her ex-boyfriend was cheating on her while they were going around. Now that she had broken off the relationship, it did not matter but she was seriously hurt by the betrayal. I was shocked too as they always had a very frank and open relationship. It didn’t make any sense to me. Why do people portray to be someone they really are not?
I was also watching another serial on a Hindi channel last week, called Rock and Roll Family. It is supposed to be a dance show which should include three generations of a family and they are supposed to be competing. It just so happened that two families were not really "families". They were cheating and therefore were put in a fix. I could not fathom the fact that someone could really lie about being a part of a family. You just make a family if you don’t like your own. This was a competition in which people could have chosen, not to participate. They were not required or forced to participate. I feel that if you cheat you lose a part of your own soul. You are not only cheating others but you start cheating yourself. Try and be honest, it might hurt you initially but it will be easy in the long run.

Should I or shouldn't I?

2008-03-27T15:54:00.009-05:00

There are a lot of times and situations in our life when we are very tensed and are having a confrontation with someone. If it is direct confrontation then its easy, you can say what you feel like but what if it is not direct and you just keep thinking whether you should say something to the other person or not. If you say something then you will be cribbing about things and will break the "supposed" harmony in the relationship but if you don’t say anything then you will yourself never be at peace and it will affect your relationship anyways.
I have made many friends in my life...some have been lost due to distance, some due to lack of communication, some I have lost because i pointed out something I didn’t like and some because I did not say what I felt. Life is full of conscious and unconscious decisions that we make. Moreover what we think to be true might not be the reality. We see things from our perspectives and feel that we are correct. Even if we realize that we are wrong we sometimes site lame excuses to justify our acts.
Do we ever accept our mistake and agree whole-heartedly that we were wrong. I have heard (and even said) some things after a fight which says that "I am sorry" but it means something else. It means that "though I am saying sorry but I don’t mean it". It means "I want this altercation to end but I still think you are wrong". Is honesty always the best policy?
I personally feel that we should say what we feel. I have been in a lot of trouble with everyone for speaking my mind. I am not rude to people but speak my mind when I have to. If we change ourselves just to gel in with the crowd then we are losing a part of ourselves. It is important to say what you feel as if you don’t say it then how do you feel others to know about it? Whether it is expressing love for someone or discontent, say it and make peace with yourself (atleast!!!)

Mumbai Molestation

2007-01-10T08:54:00.001-06:00

On Decmber 31, 2007 a girl was molested by a mob of 70 people at a crowded Gateway of India. This was done in the presence of her male friend. I think this event is very sad. It is sad for the woman who was molested, for the city it happened in (Mumbai) and also for entire Indian population. It would be foolish to say that such incidences dont happen in cities like Mumbai and it is a isolated incident. Dont women get raped in Mumbai, maybe the numbers are higher in Delhi but no women is completely safe in any city.
I would also like to rebuke people who say its the girls fault. No matter what kind of clothes you wear or what make-up you wear or even what ag eyou are. It doesnt matter to a animal who just looks at a female as a object to abuse. We have read stories about 3 year old children and 70 year old grandmothers being raped. I think it is a illness and poeple who rape or even molest should be hanged. Such people do not deserve to be a part of the society and are a disgrace to mankind. It might be just a day's incident for them but it will scar the girl for a lifetime. she will always stay in the fear that people will be prude and crude towards her
Will she be able to trust anyone or even go to a public place after this. A lot of poeple say that girls should stay in public places and avoid desolated places, but with this incident girls would have to rethink their safety strategy and should be more cautious. Last but not the least, if you still dont have a safety strategy, its high time you have one.

I am a "daughter" !!!

2006-11-17T14:31:00.007-06:00

I recently saw a Hindi movie...it was a waste of time but it made me think about my own identity and my entity. The movie was about the struggles of a girl, from a small town, who comes to Mumbai. She tries to make the ends meet and take care of her family. She doesn't find a decent job and due to her father's illness and stuff she gets into prostitution. Most of you must have guessed the name of the movie by now, it is "Laaga Chunari Mein Daag". The movie was a drag and was so regressive in nature that I could not bear to really watch the whole thing.
The best character in the movie was the protagonist's father. He was into gambling, did not work but always found something to complain about. He is critical of his daughter all her life but in the end has a turn of heart and decides to pay her a compliment. This is where my irritation with the movie reaches its peak... The best compliment he gives her is "Beti, tu to mera beta hai" ("Daughter, you are my son"). At this point I really wanted to kill the director, story writer and the dialogue writer or anybody associated with the movie.
I was born a girl and am every bit proud of it. Is the best compliment given to a women is being equal to a man? Is that the best women can get? It is like telling an Indian, you are so good, you are like an American. Does it even make any sense? It did not even make any sense to me.
I am a beti and would like to be a beti only. I would not want to magically turn to a beta when i do something good or turn back to a beti when i do something wrong.
Love your daughters like daughters and not like the second best thing to a beta. I am thankful to God that my parents love me just the way I am!!!

Pankaj Juyal

2006-11-15T13:23:00.006-06:00

Pankaj Juyal- To many this name might sound familiar (something they have read in a newspaper), to some it might not mean anything but for me this name symbolizes the person who defined my life and my love for my country. He was my school friend. He was a good friend and was always supportive of me in every decision I took. He was shy and seldom spoke to any girls. We all went our separate ways after school.
I met him after three years, when I was doing my engineering and he had become an officer in Army. He was posted in Bangalore for some time where I was studying. It was a shock to see him for the first time. He had changed so much. He had become more outgoing and smarter than ever. I could see the change in his personality after joining Army. He said army was the best thing that had happened to him and I believed it. It was evident by the way he talked, laughed and even looked at people.
I spoke to him often after that via phone and emails. My brother-in-law is in army too so I have a special respect for army officers. After one year I got the news that Pankaj was being posted to the same station where my sister was located. I became very excited at the thought of meeting Pankaj again, but fate had something else in mind. I got the news after a few days that he had expired in a bomb explosion in Gujarat. That news shook my faith in life and also in justice. Here was Pankaj who had never ever hurt anyone and was always so good to everyone he knew but he was so mercilessly taken away from us. He changed every life he touched and will always make a difference in our lives.
Maybe we realize the value of our friends and relatives only after they are gone. We tend to take them for granted when they are around but value each and every thing related to them once they are gone. I could not even see Pankaj’s face a last time because there was no face left. I only have the last memory of Pankaj when I last met him. He had sent me so many cards and letters in our friendship of twelve years but the one that I treasure is the New Year’s card that I received after his death.

(Pay your homage to the martyr's here:
http://indianarmy.nic.in/martyrs/homage.jsp?pic_id=60706
)

Dove or Hawk?

2006-10-03T17:04:00.000-05:00

In my last post (which was long back) I had written about my views on Freedom...I thought more on this topic and decided to pen down something about the different versions of Freedom...I started looking for people who had different takes on freedom and this search ended today. I was talking to a friend of mine, who is an ardent fan of Subhash Chandra Bose and does not like Mahatma Gandhi at all....this made me think more about Freedom and the fact that both these great leaders were fighting for Indian Freedom, but in a very very different way.
Last year I saw the movie based on the life of Subhash Chadra Bose and really appreciated his efforts and his ideology. I was further influenced by the movie Bhagat Singh where it was shown that Mahatma Gandhi did not actually stand up for the freedom but coerced Britishers into accepting his demands. I am not an expert on any history facts but let us agree that history is a story agreed upon by different people. I appreciate Bapu for being a person who had no ulterior motives and no personal gain agenda’s for himself in the freedom struggle but I don't completely agree with his ideology and his methods. I am a very action-oriented person and believe in acting upon my thoughts. If we keep thinking and don't do anything about it them it will surely make no sense to have a good idea. I appreciate Subhash Chandra Bose for his thinking and his efforts to connect India to the rest of the world and get support from other countries.
This year I was contrarily influenced by Lage Raho Munna Bhai. It was a lovely movie and it showed the brighter side of Gandhian thinking or Gandhigiri as we know it now. Maybe the beliefs and preachings of Bapu were not apt for Indian Freedom Struggle but it would be excellent to adopt these preachings in our daily lives and create a better society.
Was freedom only about freeing us from Britishers or was it freeing us from all evils of the society at that time, like, sati pratha, widow remarriage, woman education, etc. This debate might on for ever but I must say that there are so many people who have contributed to the Indian freedom struggle and I would like salute to all of them.

Freedom

2006-09-25T16:15:00.001-05:00

We all live in the illusion of living free...why I am calling it a illusion? Because I don’t think we are free. We are not free from bureaucracy, from greed, from hatred, from corruption, from nepotism, from hunger, from war, from religion and above all fear. We all still live with all the above stated vices in the society. Most of us have grown up with all of them and have seen so much hatred and atrocities on fellow human beings that cannot really feel free. I still get pangs of anxiety thinking about people who die every day because they don't even get one meal a day whereas there are so many who throw away food on a daily basis.
Freedom for me is eradicating all the vices and feeling happy and protected in our own homes. Freedom can be interpreted in different ways. For a woman who cannot even decide what she wants to wear, freedom means to choose her own clothes. For a person who cannot take up a job due to caste restrictions, freedom is to choose a job of his own choice. For a person who cannot marry someone he/she loves, freedom is to marry at will. For someone who has been hungry for days, freedom is to just get a bite of bread.
Freedom is not only removing vices from our lives and society, it also means that we should broaden our own thinking and respect each others freedom. We are fighting over oil, over land, over religion and so many other things. It is inhuman to kill others just because they are not like you. On a daily basis we hear about hate crimes based on sexual orientation, religion, caste and every distinction that we human have created. God never intended us to be different from each other. He created all of us equal and we have divided and alienated each other.
I know I cannot change the world and cannot even change the society that I live in but I will be free when I can atleast change myself!!!

Abortion

2006-09-22T09:07:00.000-05:00

I know it’s always been a very very sensitive topic. I will try and be as sensitive as possible and look at all the factors involved, but if I miss a point then please excuse. Abortion has been interpreted by people as a heinous act of murder, a choice issue and sometimes even a forced decision. There are so many people in this world who would not abort even if that means abandoning the child at a later day.
Do you think that a teenage girl should be given the right to terminate her pregnancy? What about rape victims? What is the point of getting the child in this world when you would not be able to love or care for him/her in an appropriate way? Is a thirteen year old who has been raped in any position to actually take care of a baby? She has not grown herself and is not in a position to take decisions about her own life, then how can she take care of another life?
Then comes another important question related to this topic…Whose choice should it be to terminate the pregnancy? It is the woman who will carry the baby and it will she who will be responsible for the care and upbringing of the child if the father decides not to be a part of their lives. When a woman is pregnant, a man has the choice of walking out on her at any time but the woman does not have that right. She is in a position that if the pregnancy is not even her choice still she has to live with it. What if she is not in a financial, emotional or social position to take care of the child? I think it should be a woman’s decision if she wants to keep the baby or not, but her motives should be verified by the court. It is a woman’s choice, what she wants to do with her body but the spouse’s emotions should also be considered. There should definitely be consideration that the abortion is not for reasons like gender and other ulterior motives. Why bring a life in this world when you can’t provide him/her with love and basic necessities.
I would like to finish this blog with just a small reference to forced decisions to abort children over the gender of the baby and it should definitely not be a forced decision. A child does not only need food, clothes and a house to grow up. He/she needs love, affection, care and above all a good set of adults to guide him/her through the difficult times of life.

how safe do you feel now, after 5 years since 9/11?

2006-09-21T13:55:00.000-05:00

All humans are in a habit of thinking that they are safe and cannot be harmed by anyone.
I feel that we get our forces active only when we get a threat...whereas I think we should always be on the alert...the kind of changes we all make in the security, after the bomb threats, should have been made long back...and I am sure that the security check will go down after some time till we get a new threat...
Secure practices should be adapted on a daily basis rather than just beef up security when a threat is made... in the first episode of serial “Kidnapped”, Jeremy Sisto says “We are the only one’s playing by the rules”…. Terrorists and all other bad elements in the society do not abide by the rules of the book and that is why it is very difficult to combat them… We never get a not telling us that we will be attacked on such and such date so that we can atleast prepare for it… we come to know about it when people die and we take an action over it only when “one of our own” dies.. Are we ever concerned about what happens in the other part of the world? There are so many countries where people die in the name of freedom, jihad, politics and religion everyday… Terrorists have become a threat now because countries like USA and UK are under attack… why they were not a concern when they were attacking countries like India, Pakistan, etc. Even Taliban was not recognized as terrorist group by UN till the attacked USA on 9/11… they were termed as freedom fighters and no action was taken by UN for years after the revolution in Afghanistan… I think terrorism is bad and all terrorist killing innocent people should be punished…it is our responsibility to take action against them… no religion, no country, no region preaches to kill…

Temple visits vs. Home worshipping!!!

2006-09-18T13:42:00.001-05:00

I have always been a believer in God, but my parents felt that my way of worshipping was never right and the amount of visits to the temple was never enough. I personally do not believe in going to the temple. This was triggered by an unpleasant incident in one of the renowned religious places in India, where the amount donated determined the type of “prasad” (Hindu equivalent of wine and bread) and how close we could get to the deity. It was so abominable that it shook my entire belief in the temple system.
Now I prefer just worshipping God at home and lighting a lamp on a daily basis. Is this practice the right way or should I just follow the norms of the religion and pay a daily, weekly or monthly visits to the temple? The commercialization of religious institutions in India has forced people to look alternative ways to believe in God. Is paying a visit to the temple, the only way God would recognize you as a believer? If God is omni-present then why does he only acknowledge your presence and your belief in the temple? Wouldn’t he come to know that you are remembering him in your room, while driving or while maybe just working?
In my school I read a story about a farmer who was God’s favorite not because he used to spend hours in front of God but because he always remembered God once a day while performing his day to day tasks. I have seen people shunning their responsibilities towards their families and house, just to sit in the temple and worship. Is this correct? Is it more important to be true to God or to be true to your own family? Does God specify a set number of hours in a day to devote to him or does he preach to be happy and be good to others?
Bapu Asaramji preaches that “Sada prasann rahna, ishwar ki sarvopari bhakti hai” (To be always happy, is the best way to worship God), which we all should adopt in our lives. It will surely make the world a better place!!!

Are we so shallow?

2006-09-14T09:26:00.000-05:00

Today if we look around, we see people fighting to each other for region, religion, caste, creed or faith. We are always trying to prove that we are better than many and sometimes all. We can prove ourselves better in many ways. Sometimes by doing something extraordinary or by performing well or sometimes making our competition look bad. We consider everybody, who is not like us, our competitor.
I came across a forum where people had decided to slander other religion for the sake of proving that their religion was better. This worsened even further and went ahead to become dispute between two countries. Is it really the only way proving that you are good? Cant we just be content that our country is good, our religion is good and concentrate on what our religion is trying to teach us rather than saying bad things and slandering other religions or finding mistakes in the followings and preaching of the other religion?
I think in this world things have become so complicated and we try and co-exist between so many religions that it is difficult to not cross paths with them. This has given us the opportunity to find out that we have so many common faiths with other religions. We were all followers of the same religion in the beginning or mankind. It was all one big family then why do we have to fight like foes now?
Be happy with what you are rather than being satisfied that all others are bad!!!

Were Sri Rama or Jesus Christ real?

2006-09-14T09:15:00.001-05:00

Someone asked me yesterday if Ram was real or was he just a figment of imagination? I feel that in older times (and I am talking about thousands of years back) when civilizations had just strated and people were unruly and uncultured, the authorities needed some way of controlling the layman. They created the fear of God and started scaring people that if they dont abide by the laws then they will be punished by a superpower named God.
This worked for some time but then it became to decide upon how God should punish and whom God should punish? All the learned men gathered and decided to write down the rules of behavior and interaction with others. The writer went one step ahead and decided that he will tell it as a story so that people can relate to it and he will ahve one main protagonist whom he will create "Just Perfect!!!" This protagonist will also act as an ideal for all the human race and all should go by his example. Thus came the concept of individual Gods... everyone needed a God of their own caste and faith so that they can actually relate to him and have some hope of becoming good at heart.
The scriptures just told us ways of life. They taught us how to live and how to work and how to behave with others. Whether its Islam (Quran), Christanity(Bible) or Hinduism(Bhagwad Geeta, Mahabharataor other purans) , they all teach us something good but in this age and time we just interpret it wrong and try and hurt each other.
Ram and Christ might be real and maybe they were just very good human beings who led others by example and who were so perfect that they became Gods. If we look closer we will find God in ourselves !!!

Family or friends?

2006-09-07T11:13:00.004-05:00

I know by this time all of you must be thinking that I always have a question as the topic name. But these are questions for you all to think. If I make a statement then it will be like imposing my own thoughts on you but I want all of you to think about the question and analyze things that I have written in the blog. Ok, now coming back to the topic in hand; Family or Friends? I have a big extended family and loads of friends too... I feel that family is the support that you will have for life. No matter how much you fight with your siblings or no matter how much you resent your parents rules and regulations, you will always love them and they will always love you. They might criticize you but they will always bring out the faults that nobody else will. They will tell you things about you so that you can work on it and improvise. We can hate our siblings for being really mean or not being concerned about us but we will be wrong. When someone is close to us and we love them, we don’t see the need to tell them how much we appreciate their love and help in every step of life. We take our family for granted and that makes us hurt them also.... But if we look closely then don’t good friends do the same? Don’t they support us and scold us when we are wrong? We love our friends but don’t think twice before sharing everything in our life with them. Is it only because they are also facing the same problems as we are due to age similarities? We chose our friends but don't have the option of choosing a family... but on the other hand we can make many friends and some friendships fade away but relations don’t break easily... I could only conclude that friends cannot substitute family and family cannot substitute friends... they are both important and balance mutually exclusive parts of our life...

Introduction

2006-09-07T10:48:00.001-05:00

Hi, I am a simple girl in this complicated world. In my blog I would be writing about different topics that affect our lives everyday. We are too busy to notice but they are important and worth a thought. I have an opinion and this is an attempt to put forward my opinion. Its time, for everyone to see the world, from my viewpoint.